We’ve all been there—caught in the trap of trying to make everyone around us happy. It’s natural to want to please others, to be liked and accepted, but when we start living for the approval of others rather than God, it can become a dangerous cycle. Proverbs 29:25 reminds us, “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.” In this article, we’ll explore why people-pleasing can be harmful and how we can shift our focus back to living for God’s approval.
Simplify It
Living to please others is like chasing the wind—you’ll never catch it. But when you focus on pleasing God, you find peace and purpose.
Context
The Bible speaks often about the dangers of seeking human approval over God’s. In the time of Jesus, many people struggled with this, including religious leaders who feared the disapproval of their peers more than they feared God. This struggle is not new, and it’s something believers have faced throughout history.
The struggle to seek approval from others instead of God is not a new challenge. Even in biblical times, many people, including some of the most faithful followers of God, wrestled with the temptation to please others.
- The Pharisees: One of the most prominent examples in the New Testament is the Pharisees. These religious leaders were highly respected in society, but they were often more concerned with maintaining their status and receiving praise from others than with truly following God’s will. Jesus frequently rebuked them for their hypocrisy, pointing out that they loved the approval of men more than the approval of God (John 12:43). Their fear of losing their influence led them to reject Jesus, even though they recognized the truth in His teachings.
- King Saul: Another significant example is King Saul. Saul was anointed as the first king of Israel, but his reign was marked by his deep insecurity and desire for the approval of his people. In 1 Samuel 15, Saul disobeys God’s command because he feared the people and wanted to please them. This act of disobedience ultimately led to his downfall, as God rejected him as king. Saul’s story is a powerful reminder of the consequences of placing human approval above obedience to God.
- Peter: Even Peter, one of Jesus’ closest disciples, struggled with people-pleasing. After Jesus was arrested, Peter denied knowing Him three times, fearing the judgment and hostility of those around him. Despite his deep love for Jesus, Peter’s fear of what others might think or do led him to betray his Master. However, Peter’s story doesn’t end in failure—after his repentance, Jesus restored him, and Peter went on to become a bold leader of the early church.
- Pilate: Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor who presided over the trial of Jesus, is another example. Pilate knew that Jesus was innocent and even seemed inclined to release Him, but the pressure from the crowd and the fear of political repercussions led him to sentence Jesus to death. Pilate’s decision was driven by a desire to maintain his position and avoid conflict, even at the cost of justice.
These examples show that the struggle to please others rather than God is a common human experience, even among those who are deeply committed to their faith. The Bible highlights these stories not to condemn, but to teach us the importance of seeking God’s approval above all else. The challenge of choosing between the approval of people and the approval of God is one that believers have faced throughout history, and it’s a challenge we continue to face today.
What the Bible Says About People-Pleasers
- Here are some scriptures that address the issue of people-pleasing and the importance of seeking God’s approval over the approval of others:
- Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
- “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
- This verse highlights the conflict between pleasing people and serving Christ. Paul emphasizes that a true servant of Christ should seek to please God, not humans.
- Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)
- “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
- This proverb warns that being overly concerned with what others think can trap us, but trusting in God brings safety and security.
- John 12:42-43 (NIV)
- “Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than praise from God.”
- These verses describe how some leaders believed in Jesus but were too afraid to publicly acknowledge their faith because they valued human praise over God’s approval.
- 1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NIV)
- “On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.”
- Paul emphasizes that their mission was to please God rather than people, highlighting the importance of divine approval in their ministry.
- Matthew 6:1 (NIV)
- “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
- Jesus teaches that seeking approval from others for our good deeds is not pleasing to God, and it can result in a loss of heavenly reward.
- These scriptures collectively stress the importance of focusing on God’s approval rather than being concerned with the opinions of others, which is a key message for those who struggle with people-pleasing.
Applying to Modern Life
In today’s world, social media, peer pressure, and cultural expectations can make people-pleasing even more tempting. We often find ourselves altering our behavior, opinions, or beliefs to fit in or gain approval. However, this can lead to anxiety, loss of identity, and a weakened relationship with God. Instead, we should strive to live authentically, seeking God’s approval above all. Just like how social media filters can distort reality, seeking others’ approval can distort our true purpose. When we focus on God, we gain clarity and confidence in who we are meant to be.
Learning from Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela, the former president of South Africa, faced immense pressure to conform to the expectations of others throughout his life, especially during his 27 years in prison. However, Mandela stayed true to his convictions, refusing to compromise his principles for the sake of approval. He trusted in the higher purpose of his mission and the justice of his cause. His life reminds us that when we stand firm in our faith and values, we can overcome even the most challenging circumstances.
Moment of Reflection
As you reflect on today’s inspiration, consider areas in your life where you might be striving too hard to please others. Are there situations where you feel pressure to conform to others’ expectations at the expense of your relationship with God? How can you shift your focus back to seeking God’s approval and living authentically in His purpose for your life?
Conclusion
People-pleasing is a trap that can lead us away from God’s purpose for our lives. By trusting in God and seeking His approval above all, we find safety, peace, and true fulfillment. Let’s remember that we are ultimately accountable to God, not to the opinions of others.
Today’s Pinky Promise
God’s approval is all you need. When you live for Him, He will guide and protect you.
Today’s Prayer
Lord, help me to focus on pleasing You above all else. Give me the strength to resist the pressure to conform to the world’s expectations, and help me to live authentically in Your purpose for my life. Amen.
